Connection is Why We Are Here

Brené Brown is a sociologist and quantitative researcher. Her area of study is human relationships and particularly connection. In one of her TEDx Talks, she says “Connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives meaning and purpose to our lives. Connection is the ability to feel connected and it’s why we are here. Biologically that’s how we’re wired.”

It’s interesting that her research led her to the same conclusion found it the Bible. It is not good for us to be alone (Genesis 2:18).

The Loneliness Epidemic

Even though we were made for connectedness, there is a surprising amount of loneliness in our world. And some of the loneliest people in the world are surrounded by people all day long. Many of them have friends. A lot of them are even married. Most of them are really busy. And yet they are lonely.

Deborah Orr is a Guardian columnist. In an article called Modern Life is Really Lonely: We all Need Some Help she says, “Loneliness always increases as societies modernize. Loneliness is an ailment of modernity.”[1] The British government believes it to be a serious enough issue that they appointed a “Minister for Loneliness.” This government official is in charge of tackling the loneliness epidemic in Britain.

Connection is about More than Being Around People

The danger of addressing loneliness is that loneliness cannot be addressed by making sure that people are around other people and busy. It is entirely possible for a person to be surrounded by people and be busy and still be incredibly lonely.

Brené Brown (smile because God got it right first) is onto something. We were made for connectedness. Connection combats loneliness. Amazingly, there is a sense in which, we are the most connected society in history. Sprout social reports, “In 2012, the average internet user had three social media accounts–now the average is closer to seven accounts.”[2] And yet, in spite of all our connectedness, connection still seems to be missing. Time behind a screen hasn’t solved the issue of loneliness. And neither does being busy or around people.

Inviting People In

Jesus connected with people. When you read the New Testament take note of the way Jesus did relationship. He was with people most of the time, and when he wasn’t with people he was asleep or in prayer (connecting with his Father). But Jesus was just with people. He connected with them. Often in their homes and over a meal. In Luke’s Gospel alone, there are 10 different instances of Jesus eating with people.

Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) was one of the people that Jesus took time to connect with. Zacchaeus wanted to see Jesus so badly that he climbed a tree to get a look. Luke gives us some of the details. Luke 19:2–3 says, ² A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. ³ He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd.

Even though Zacchaeus was wealthy, he had a poverty of relationships in life. He had all the material possessions of life, but he was relationally poor. He had chosen wealth over relationship and was viewed by his own people as a traitor. His occupation as a tax collector made him a conspirator with Rome. His only friends were other tax collectors and “sinners.”

Being Intentional about Relationships

That is, until Jesus called him out of the tree. Jesus was very intentional. “Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house.”^[3] In John 4 it says that Jesus had to go through Samaria and yet we know that he didn’t “have to” in the typical sense. There were other routes. But he “had to” if he was going to meet the Samarian Woman. In the same way, Jesus says to Zacchaeus “I must stay with you.”

Jesus intentionally pursues people. He doesn’t just see it as an option. He sees it as a necessity.

So what does this teach us about relationships? Here are some suggestions that have have been adapted from Ed Welch’s book Caring for One Another.[4]

1. We greet family members, friends, and acquaintances warmly because the Lord greets us and calls us to relationship.
2. The Bible says that God knows our name, so we get to know other people by name.
3. The Lord cares about even the irrelevant details about our lives like the number of hairs on our head, so we can care about other people and their details.

Prayer Prompt

Lord, help me to be intentional about connecting with my family, friends, and other people that I come into contact with today.

 

[1] Orr, Deborah. “Modern Life Is Lonely. We All Need Someone To Help | Deborah Orr.” the Guardian. N. p., 2017. Web. 18 Sept. 2018.

[2] Enterprise, For et al. “61 Social Media Statistics To Bookmark For 2018.” Sprout Social. N. p., 2018. Web. 18 Sept. 2018.

^[3] The New King James Version. (1982). (Lk 19:5). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

[4] Welch, Edward T. Caring for One Another: 8 Ways to Cultivate Meaningful Relationships. Crossway, 2018.